It’s been a month. I’ve been through many substantial hard times in my life, and this month has been near one of the toughest. That weekend in Vegas is still haunting me. Everyday. I relive everything.
I still see her walking away from me. She was upset at me because I told her I had to go home. I was a train wreck that weekend, in her words. “I’ll see you back in LA.” And she turned and walked away without another word. “Michellleee.” I helplessly tried to call her back, but I was to drained to chase after her. And then she was gone in the crowd. I cabbed it back alone to the hotel and checked out of our room a few hours later. And then that same night she was gone forever.
Everyday I pretend everything is normal when it isn’t. At nights I feel numb. I should’ve been there, next to her. Listening to Jason Aldean sing. But I was driving away, going home. And safe in my bed. I will never understand why I was the lucky one and was spared completely from it all. I had my concert ticket ready for that night. But I didn’t even have to experience the horror. I am working on moving past that guilt. I’ve learned how everyday is a blessing, and realized how much love I have for all the amazing people that have been there for me and helped me see some light through all the darkness. Love. Nothing is ever more important than that.
Just when I think you’ve given up
You were there in the garden when I ran from your voice
I hear you every morning through the chaos and the noise
You still whisper down through history and echo through these halls
And tell me love’s gonna conquer all
Gonna conquer all